Monday, October 26, 2009

The Stranger I am

It was gaining ground within me. Every passing day it spread its menacing roots deeper. The angst was gnawing at my convictions. From each of my actions , shrieked an echo of the clamor concussing me from the very touchstone of all things that I stood for.

The cause of this slow but sure cataclysm, however, was somehow undeterminable. I was unsure, shaky and, worst of all, aware of the impending upheaval . I ransacked my entire being but all I managed to find was a strange void engulfing me inside out. Scared that I won’t be able to endure this inexplicable change all the more with the weight of a jeopardized ego bearing down upon me …. I panicked, grew impatient and all it did was nourish this row being raged within me.


My existence had been reduced to a perfunctory drudge.. People saw me, met me and interacted with me but failed to perceive this shadow which had interlaced deep into me. I was dragging my schism shredded ramshackled fragments on the face of the earth with a lost sense of purpose…



The Scream : Painting by Edward Munch



Wednesday, October 7, 2009

LUST LUST LUST

My mind convicts me…
….for the treason…the deceit…
Hope is delirious..faith is forfeit..

Lust is all that I had….
Lust is all that I gave…

….I expect no mercy…
I expect no acquit….
…..The deeds of my rage…
….now shall He avenge…
The lust for gems…the lust for the sword..
The lust for life…..the lust shall corrode.
With a soul compromised
And a heart disdained
When nothing else stayed
….My lust still swayed

Lust is all that I had…Lust is all that I gave…

Friday, September 4, 2009



''karmaņy evā ‘dhikāras te
mā phalesu kadācana
mā karmaphalahetur bhūr
ma te saňgo ‘stv akarmaņi''



To action alone has thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction

Saturday, February 14, 2009

It’s that time of the year again


It’s that time of the year again

Of falling leaves and failing dreams
…kisses and scorns.hugs and severance

Cries and sighs….fits of joy..
Setting suns and hopes afloat…..
‘'Things will change'’….but they never do….
Life seems complete …..missing you….

Of Calm seas….of the turmoils within
The ghost touch, the warmth …. the intimacy
…murky hallways ..forlorn with grief
Twinkling mirth…..fading desires
Zephyrs monstering into storms
…..of the smothering reds
……and the longing blues

Promises unkept….words unsaid….deeds undone
….phantoms in silence….shadows in the dark
Of drying tears and echoing scoffs…


……There will be another year….another winter….another spring…..another smile
………..another sob….
……There will never be another you….


Aaah yes……
Happy Valentine’s Day

Saturday, November 29, 2008

When You LOVE someone....





Pal pal dil ke paas tum rehti ho

It’s in your absence that I feel you the most.your thoughts make me realize your worth….you soothe me, calm me…..complete me….liberate me.
I need you more than the breath of air, the grain of food, the drop of water and the grace of GOD.

Kahin toh hogi woh duniya jahan tu mere paas hai...

I miss you every moment….every moment of my life craves for your presence.desires,wishes,thoughts and prayers long for you…..can I ever hold you in my arms ?…. can you ever be mine?

Tu bin bataye mujhe le chal kahin....

As we walk hand in hand…..the lonely sun sulks and sinks beneath the purview emanating that bewitching scarlet glow which bathes the lush meadows igniting flaming desires in my heart….words you utter melt in my ears ,turn to music and leave my heart swaying to your tunes….you lead me on these paths to my destination …..you lead me to myself.

Tum se hi....

My days begin reminiscing your smile .... and your giggles ringing in my ears…..your glow makes the sun shine all day and evenings greet your charming grace…..my life is nothing but an ode to your innocence…..my existence-a homage to your love.

Dil de diya hai…jaan tumhe denge

Let me say…...”I am sorry”…
For the times when I had hurt you…when I had disbelieved you.
Forgive me for the pain I caused to your heart,
for the callousness with which I crushed your care…..and for simply being unable to repay your boundless love……

Aae kash ke hum hosh mein naa aane pain…

Let this reverie of love last for ever…..cause I fear….I might lose you
If this be a delusion then let reality never dawn on me lest dismal distances part us
Let these showers of ardent affection never cease....let the harmony of your love bless me…..forever.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

A HAPPY ENDING

“You won’t make it through this long life without her.”, asserted Aniket.”Things wil sort themselves out once you acknowledge your heart”, He continued.”These tears that you are shedding will never stop as your love would never die.it’s ‘DO OR DIE’ for you.Either you confess cause that’s what you should DO or you DIE as you won’t be able to live without her.Ten days of your self imposed estrangement have reduced you to one pathetic lot you have long years of lonliness ahead.”.Aniket who was known for his stumbling speech and immature contemplation had never sounded this firm.



Tears trickled down Aman’s furrowed cheek and dripped down to the floor below as he heard head held low between his clenched fists,elbows resting on his thighs.The phenomenally motivational oration was abruptly interfered by Debu’s authoritative voice ,”All rubbish!!”,he exclaimed.”You will be jeopardizing many a relations Aman.It’s not worth the trouble”. Aman who had been listening all the while just stood and began drudging out of the room into the rainstorm wrecking havoc outdoors seemingly unable to take anymore of this ‘counselling’.

As he started walking,dazed and clueless,the past began flashing before him like scenes from a movie.The day when He had seen her for the first time and how he had felt the firm ground beneath his feet giving way when she first glanced at him.The first time when she had walked upto him at the coffee place dressed in the magnificient black outfit. That was the first time they had talked to each other.He could still remember her elegant gait as she ascended the flight of stairs to the raised platform on which stood the coffee place….And those mesmerizing eyes how could he ever forget them

Before he could realize he was dashing on the road.”if you feel something for someone better say it before it’s too late”,her words echoed inside him as he soon found himself in the vicinity of the coffee place panting.

As he neared the place he could see the doe eyed beauty standing on the same podium all drenched ,all alone.The drops clambered on the tin roof of the coffee place.Dressed in the same orange and white suit in which she always managed to appear so stunningly charming.he walked upto her gasping for breath and as he drew close she whispered “what?!” in her usual cute manner.”Do I need to say?...”,he said.”…I LOVE YOU”,she intervened.the two lost themselves in each other’s embrace as the rain had allayed somewhat and a relative calm had befallen over the ambience.”HAPPY VALENTINES’ DAY”,he whispered in her ears.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

30 mins with you



The seemingly harsh rays of the sun shone on her imparting her that divine glow.She wilted in discomfort and snuggled up closer seeking solace in my embrace.Her silky curls kissed my chin,another brush with divinity.I slowly removed those strands that hung over her face revealing that indolent radiance emanating from her eyes...I took her delicate hands in mine and my fingers began drawing various patterns on the lithe skin on them.She chuckled playfully in response to the tickle,that nectar like timbre dissolved in me satiating innumerable desires.

A gentle breeze made it’s way into the room as the sun prepared to pack up after shimmering all through the long winter day.she trembled submissively as the chill even made me cuddle upto her.I protectively ensheilded her.She languidly reached out for the steaming coffee and sipped from the mug a couple of times still reclined more on me than on the bed unaware of the gaze of admiration with which I followed her every movement all the while.I sneaked out slowly and knelt beside her with a bottle of nail paint and smeared yet another coat on her toe nails...”she will manage to spoil them soon”,I murmured to myself and a smile unpretentiously adorned my lips.She turned and I drew close to rest my head on her lap...”are the heavens more snug?”.
Still lying calm and stationary I hummed the blissful tune to myself as the jingle of the A R Rahman composition sailed along from the music player...’hum hai iss pal yahan...’.